In California alone, statistics show that the divorce rate in most counties is 60%. And according to the Wall Street Journal, there is an increase in the divorce of middle-aged couples, appropriately named “gray divorce”
Why would baby boomers resort to divorce? There are many reasons like financial issues, infidelity, wanting to start a new life, growing apart, or addictions (gambling, drugs, alcohol).
The good news is that many marriages have been restored by therapy. According to Couples Therapy Campbell CA team of psychologists, the top three issues in every relationship are communication, trust, and intimacy.
In the movie “Hope Springs,” the wife wants to reignite the spark in their marriage by convincing her husband to go through a week of couple counseling while they are on vacation. However, the husband denies that there is a problem and is very uncooperative with the therapy sessions.
That scenario is getting to be a common occurrence as more couples become empty nesters. Children leave the family home, forcing parents to revisit their marriage and discovering that they have grown apart.
Is Therapy For You?
Both partners need to be willing to give their marriage the boost it deserves. This motivation will allow them to look forward to more fulfilling years with the person who knows them the most.
However, despite the positive results of work with therapists, talking someone into getting therapy can be frustrating. They think that doing so is an admission of a problem with the marriage or even a personal psychological problem.
How Can I Convince My Partner?
Reminisce about better times
Try to remember what brought both of you together in the first place. Recapture the events and emotions.
Go through your old photographs or videos together. If possible, travel to places where you had good memories.
Pleasant memories will bring back warm feelings towards each other.
Try therapy yourself first.
People learn communication styles from family and personal experiences. Usually, they are not aware of how their words and actions affect others.
Being in therapy can help improve communication skills. A therapist can suggest changes in words without hurting one’s partner.
Set a good example by applying the therapists’ suggestions in daily relationship issues at work or home. Once they find you less irritable and more patient with others, this means that therapy is safe and that it works.
However, only if a person wants to change bad enough will they seek help outside themselves.
Let them know that seeking help with experts who have helped others with the same issues will benefit them. Some therapists specialize in specific concerns, as mentioned by Couples Therapy Campbell CA.
Is It Too Late?
Although it may appear hopeless, old wounds can still be healed and intimacy restored. It takes both partners to work together with their therapist.
The presence of a trained professional while communicating one’s thoughts and emotions in a “safe” environment can be a liberating experience. These confessions might even surprise the other partner. What he/she assumed to be a negative emotion could be his/her partner’s way of reaching out in love.
It is never too late to start changing for the better.
