Parenting teens has always been a great challenge. With digital media hovering over us, parents can expect to lock horns with their teenagers even tighter. Today’s parents feel a little bit helpless as they are the first set of parents to raise teenagers with social media and gadget use linked to their existence. Today, monsters no longer lurk under our teen’s beds. Instead, they live in their hands – on their smartphones.
What is sexting?
Sexting is sharing sexually indecent (suggestive, racy, naughty, etc) messages by text, images, or videos. Sending nude pictures of themselves and others is a concrete example of sexting. But it doesn’t have to be nude photos or videos. Your teenage daughter sending a selfie intentionally showing her underwear to her boyfriend or crush, can be considered a sext. It can escalate to more pornographic content if you let it slip.
Teen sexting is not just about sending the sext either – it also involves sharing it. Your teenager sharing racy images of someone among his friends, includes him among teenagers committing this violation.
According to the study, ” Prevalence of Multiple Forms of Sexting Behavior Among Youth” by JAMA Pediatrics,
- 1 in 7 teens send inappropriate images, texts, and videos
- 1 in 4 teens receives inappropriate images, texts, and videos
Why do teens engage in sexting?
Understanding the reason why teens share inappropriate content is the key to handling teen sexting. Today’s teens document their lives with a simple click and tap and it includes their sexuality. Unfortunately, sexting is one of the many ways teens flirt and hook up. Some teens send racy photos of themselves to get the attentive of their crushes. Parents might find appalled that their well-behaved child engages in sexting, only to realized they are pressured by the friends.
Unfortunately, most teens find it harmless to send suggestive photos of themselves. Blame it to Instagram or the Kardashians for “normalizing” butt-baring and scantily-clad photos, educate your children that modesty is still a virtue to uphold.
Dangers of sexting
Sexting puts teens at great risk. An impulsive action that takes less than 30 seconds can lead to tremendous consequences. Teens sext their girlfriend/boyfriend or crush and it takes a bad break up for such racy photos and videos to be shared to all kids in school.
When racy content is shared, sexting can result to
- Embarrassment in school and community
- Sexual harassment
- Bullying including cyberbullying
- Teens fall into depression with some lead to teen suicide
- Content can be acquired by adult sites and pedophiles
- Those who possess teen’s inappropriate photo or video can blackmail and coerce teens for money and even rape.
Sexting is not just about your child going astray from your moral compass and embarrassment, but it can also lead to persecution. Some countries and states consider it as child pornography with a case of an 18-year-old convicted of child pornography for possessing nude photos of his 16-year old girlfriend.
Dealing with teen sexting
Parents need to aid their teens in their road to discovering their sexual identities and development. There is no need to be intimidated with sexting as they are images and videos with heavy consequences.
Here’s how you can deal with teen sexting
Talk about it early
You don’t have to wait for your child to reach his teenage years. Kids as early as 10 years old have social media accounts. Prior to your children using social media, educate them on privacy and sending and accepting photos and videos with no clothes on is NEVER ok.
Know your teen’s friends, online and offline
Does your teen belong to a good group? Let them hang out in your house where you can observe them more personally. You’ll be surprised that a well-mannered boy in school turns out love watching inappropriate videos on YouTube.
Randomly check their phones and social media
As soon as your child asks for a social media account, make sure you know the password and username. Make the account together and he/she must add you as “friends”. Check your teen’s phones randomly. There are apps and devices that let you read deleted messages.
Exercise your authority as a parent. It is your right to monitor their social media and gadget use – you are the one paying the bills and buying the phone, right?
Have an open discussion about technology
Create an open dialogue with your teens. Don’t let technology drift you apart from your teenagers. Ask your teens about the latest apps and be on social media! Don’t be scared of technology – have a social media account. When you’re on social media, you can parent your teens on responsible usage and remind them that “www” also means, “ whole world’s watching”.
What to do if your teen is sexting?
A bitter pill to swallow is when you realize your teen is taking naked photos of himself/herself and sends it to the person they want to hook up with. Or your teenager is asking girls and boys, “send nudes”. The best thing to do is never freak out. If you belong to the Playboy magazine, your child might belong to the sexting generation.
Talk to your child. Exercise your authority. Render appropriate penalties and consequences. Educate your child that these photos and videos will not be permanently deleted, but may have long-term consequences.
You may also ask yourself, “Why is my child doing this?”. Sexting can be a result of low-self esteem, loneliness, and insecurities. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your teen’s school or experts if you feel that you need professional help in dealing with your teen’s sexting.
On the other hand, if your child is the one receiving the racy photos. Tell him/her to delete it and never share. If it becomes consistent from the same person, inform the parent or reach out to the school or police.
The world has become scarier than ever for some parents with social media. Be in control and deal with technology’s pitfalls as you embrace its wonderful results.
This article is part of Globe Telecom’s #makeITsafePH campaign, educating consumers on proper etiquette and responsible Internet usage, among others.
